“I always like to give away the punchline of this one before I sing it. This is a song about this girl on a Honda Spree listening to her Walkman and she falls in love with this guy in jogging shoes listening to his Walkman and they fall in love, get married and then they get run over by a Harley Davidson. So it’s got kind of a happy ending.”-Typical introduction at live gigs
She had a private symphony inside of her cranium.
And that gum she’d chew, Christ you’d think she’d moo.
She had a pink Honda Spree and the mind of a wild geranium.
She had Halen on her head, until her ears just bled,
It was the dawn of the dead in Dolby.
Yeah she was deaf and dumb and late at night she’d mumble,
“I just need a Walkman man to come and hold me.”
He was a running fool on his way to school,
When she noticed his Nikes, she likey the way he burned calories.
He had phones on his ears playing Tears for Fears,
He loved their sincerity, he loved the great depths of their salaries.
And so he’d run like a loon, groan to Grace Jones tunes,
Knowin’ soon he’d be meetin’ his destiny.
Yeah he was deaf and dumb but late at night he’d mumble,
“I just need a Walkman girl to run beside me.”
Then one day he said, “I think I love you Walkman woman.”
And she said, “What?”
He said, “I said, I think I love you Walkman woman.”
And she said, “Wait a minute. Here comes the good part.”
They got married one day in the merry month of May,
It was a match they say, that was made by the craft of the Japanese.
But in the middle of a jog they got hit by a hog,
They got killed by a Harley, just left ’em as his and her spots of grease.
But come the harvest moon, I hear this Grace Jones tune,
All gloomy and eerie in stereo.
Deaf, dumb, and dead, they fill my heart with dread,
With Van Halen on their head, Sony Juliet and Reebok Romeo.
© and ℗ 1988, 1991, 1992, 1999, 2001 Marques Bovre