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Marques Bovre

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I Mow the Lawns

“You know, I realize racism isn’t anything to kid about. And it’s been rearing it’s ugly and empty head on this campus. But I do hold that there is at least one biological and verifiable difference between a racist and that is that white people have a special lawn care chromosome that insures that they’ll spend at least a tenth of their life making sure that their lawn is cut in these precise and mindless diagonals. And they alternate ’em every other week. But I’m a white guy and so I mow a lot of lawns. And it wouldn’t be so bad, you know – it’s kind of socially acceptable if you got your own lawn to mow. But I’m mowin’ other peoples lawns, you know, and that just aint natural. So I wrote this song about bein’ 25 years old and mowin’ other people’s lawns.”

-Introduction from a live performance on 25 Jun 1987

You know that I mow the lawns.
I do my mowin’ for cash.
I’ll wash your car if you want me to.
I may just take out your trash.
‘Cause some spend their summers all body-oiled,
And some simply spend summer blonde.
But me, I’ll do anything –
I’ll mulch my pride, I’ll mow your damn lawn.

They say the college degree,
Is the greatest bargain on Earth.
I got an educated sunburn and bee stings,
I wonder what my knowledge is worth.
But then mowin’ the lawns gives me time,
To think about the literature courses I took.
I think next year,
I’m gonna give computer sci a serious look.

You know that Jill jilted me,
For all these grass stains I bear.
She sees a medical intern these days,
And he gives her pre-professional care.
She said she always had a thing for the pretty boys,
And a rich boy is a boy she could boff.
But the lawn boy who’s turnin’ on the sprinkler’s
Simply turnin’ her off.

Bridge:
I close my eyes and dream of dandelions –
Visions of crabgrass dance in my head.
The neighbor lady throws me looks,
While the sun slowly cooks,
The doggy doody on the tractor tire tread.

I had my first payin’ job,
When I was seven years old.
Cuttin’ grass for the neighbor next door,
And it gave me some money to fold.
But I never did trim around the apple tree –
Too late I saw the light, I know where I fell.
And now late at night,
I pray to God there ain’t no ridin’ mowers in hell.

repeat first verse

Appears On:
Don't Be Afraid – 1989
Don’t Be Afraid – 1989

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“I Mow the Lawns” on Don’t Be Afraid

© & ℗ 1989 by Marques Bovre


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Live from Lonesome County

A Special Archival CD/DVD Collection

Live from the Crystal Corner Bar
March 5, 1994

The complete Ghost Stories from Lonesome County CD release party (on two CDs)

Live on John and Gordy’s Media World
March 1, 1994

A seven-song set from cable access TV (on DVD)

Plus: The Lonesome County music video

All profits from the sale of this set go to Haiti Allies.

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